Christmas At Division
by CindyBaby
Summary: Just a silly thing I wrote, like a parody I suppose. It s christmas time in division. Rating T for bad words?


**I have to warn you, this is probably the silliest story I have ever written. But I´m tired, can´t sleep and longing for christmas. I own nothing.**

Michael stepped into division a coffee in his hand and shaking his head in bewilderment. Every flat surface was decorated with santas or trees. A stereo in the corner blasted out a remix of jingle bells at an eardeafening volume.

_Jingle bells, jingle bells  
Jingle all the way  
Oh, what fun it is to ride  
In a one horse open sleigh_

Ladies and gentlement  
I give you the jingle bass

Merry Christmas

Dashing through the snow  
In a one horse open sleigh  
O'er the fields we go  
Laughing all the way  
Bells on bob tails ring  
Making spirits bright  
What fun it is to laugh and sing  
A sleighing song tonight

Birkhoff seemed to be in charge of the music since he was currently connecting all his stuff to get maximal volume. Or at least that was what it sounded like.

One of the recruits Jaden, skated up next to him, holding out a platter of gingerbreads shaped as guns and, was that..? No it couldn´t be..?

"What the hell is this?"

She stared at him.

"It´s gingerbread".

He took a deep breath and counted to ten.

"Yes, I see that Jaden. I was just wondering why they are shaped as guns and, brains?"

"Oh. Well you see Percy wanted guns and Amanda wanted brains".

"Amanda?"

"Yeah she´s in her office baking"

Amanda? Baking?

"Look do you want one or not, I have to spread the holiday cheer"

Jaden glared at him. At him?

"Uh no thanks, I´ll pass".

"Suit yourself"

He shook his head as Jaden skated away. He decided to ask Birkhoff what the hell was going on here. On the way over though he was almost run over by a train of raindeers running around with Thom and Alex chasing them, at the same time holding hands.

He managed to escape and patted Birkoff on the back none to gently.

"Birkoff, what the hell is going on here?"

"Duh, what does it look like Michael? We´re having a christmas party tonight"

"A, a what?"

Birkhoff finally looked up at him an spoke slowly.

"Aaaa partyyy"

Michael sighed helplessly.

"But why?"

"Because it´s christmas?"

Michael sighed and realised that it was pointless to continue this discussion and turned for Amandas office.

"Oh, and Michael. Nikita is also invited to the party"

Michael spun around.

"What? Is Nikita coming here? Tonight? What the hell is Percy going to say? And do?"

"Oh please, chill man. It was Percy who invited her".

Michael wanted to ask more, but he couldn´t get his mouth to work properly so he turned around and continued for Amandas office, Birkoff whistling silent night behind him as he went.

Stepping in to Amandas office he was assaulted by the smell of burned gingerbread. Looking around he found her standing by a portable stove, humming Frosty the Snowman.

Hearing him clear his throat she looked up and smiled.

"Michael! So glad you could join us! Here, have a gingerbread"

Michael glanced at the plate of burned cookies and fought the urge to gag.

"Actually, Amanda, I was wondering what all this is about? Is there some test I haven´t been made aware of?"

"Test? At christmas? Silly Michael. You can´t have a test a christmas"

Michael reaching the end of his patience sighed.

"But all this, it´s not normal. Jaden is skating around with gingerbread, skating! There are raindeers downstairs and my head is still pounding in time to jingle bell rock, and you´re here baking? Burning! Burning gingerbread for fucks sake!"

Amandas gaze turned cold.

Picking up her phone she pressed in a number.

"Cleaner? Yes, my office".

"What? Amanda? You can´t be serious?"

"I´m sorry Michael. But no one insults my gingerbread"

The door opened to reveal Owen, in a santa claus hat and red boxers.

"What is this now? Another form of torture?" Michael yelled.

"Oh silly Michael. Not everything is about you, you know. Some things are about me. This is one of those things. Now Owen, take the Grinch here to Percys office and then come back here and give moma some sugar, okey?"

"Yes mam" he saluted.

Owen dragged Michael down the hall to Percys office, or rather carried him since he seemed to have gone in to shock. He pushed him in and slammed the door behind him before he hurried down the hall presumably back to Amandas office.

Michael turned to face Percy and sighed in relief. He looked normal. Well, as normal as he could look being an evil master mind.

"What now Michael?"

"Amanda, she ordered a cleaning service on me"

Percy sighed and looked up.

"And why did she do that Michael?"

"I don´t know! She´s crazy, they are all crazy! Let me tell you..."

"Michael, Michael..." Percy interrupted him.

"Look, you know I have always favored you, you know this, but sometimes" he sighed and tried to look understanding "you can be a real pain in the ass"

Michael gaped at him.

"I know I know, it´s partly my fault having spoiled you, but that ends now do you understand? I will not let you ruin this party with your moodswings, depressions and what not".

"But I..."

"No buts Michael, if you don´t want to stay here you can go to Turkey and finish that operation you were going on about yesterday, will that make you happy? Good Lord".

Percy sighed again and started mumbling about ungrateful bastards.

Michael was shocked out of his musings.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, it would be good if you did leave for Turkey over christmas, Nikita is coming and I don´t want any fighting" He sent him a stern look.

"What the fuck do you mean? You ordered me to hunt her down!"

"Well yes, but seriously Michael. You should have just slapped me around for suggesting that, I mean really, don´t you love her?"

Another semi-understanding look.

"I I, I do..love her..."

"Do I look like Oprah Michael? I don´t want to hear the whole sob story, in fact I´m putting the moves on her myself tonight".

Michael gripped the back of the chair tightly to keep from falling and choked out

"What? You can´t... she hates you...really hates you..."

"Oh Michael please, haven´t you been watching days of our lives? Telling somebody they hate them is like foreplay"

Michael gagged.

"And" Percy continued "just imagine the foreplay" waggling his eyebrows wildly for effect.

By this time Michael had had enough and lunged across Percy´s desk and they slammed to the floor in a tangle of flailing limbs screaming obscene things at each other all the while Rohan hit jingle bell rock on replay.

**Well. Lol.**


End file.
